Always look on the bright side of life
Tomorrow starts my almost seven week journey through the land of radiation and chemotherapy. I’m feeling much calmer about it, almost like I did right before surgery, which is a relief after being incredibly anxious about it for the last couple of weeks. Now, I’m just looking forward to getting the first one over and done with, so I know what to expect. I’ve heard it takes longer to actually do the prep for a radiation treatment than the treatment itself. I hope that’s the case. After radiation, I have an appointment for some bloodwork, and a follow up with the chemotherapy oncologist, because my first round of chemo will be on Tuesday. To be honest, I’m more nervous for that one, and not just because the chemo infusion appointment is seven hours long. Chemo has some pretty nasty side effects and, though I’ve been assured I shouldn’t suffer from too many of them since I’m only having three rounds, it’s still a risk and they never really know how people will react. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it all goes as smoothly as surgery recovery has gone so far.
In the meantime, I’m trying to rest and relax and focus on little, joyful things. For me, that means getting outside, reading, binging Netflix, or watching wildlife (or DOGS). I’m pretty simple. Earlier this morning, I was standing at the window with my binoculars, watching a pileated woodpecker methodically work it’s way around a large tree, when I declared to Joe that, “TODAY IS THE BEST DAY.” This was largely based on the fact that, in addition to that woodpecker, we’d also been visited by: a downy woodpecker, a northern flicker, two wrens, and the usual squirrels, juncos, and chickadees.
These little moments are pulling me through the tougher parts of recovery, the anxiety about the rest of treatment, and my hope is, it’s what will get me through radiation and chemo. It doesn’t sound like much, but it adds up. Last week, Joe and I went for a walk next to a little church, tucked away off the road, surrounded by trees. As we walked through, something was squeaking and yelling at us. I knew I recognized the sound but it took me a moment to recognize it was a Douglas squirrel. Before I moved to the PNW, I had no idea that the Douglas squirrel (the eastern grey squirrel’s smaller, sassier, more elusive cousin) even existed. The first time I saw one was when I was on a quiet hike and it popped up on a nearby tree branch, letting out a series of loud squeaks that, to be honest, scared the shit out of me. I mean, look at to these dramatic fools:
In any case, the reason this was so exciting is that, while it’s typical to see the more common eastern grey squirrels running around, begging for food, or stealing garbage from dumpsters, you don’t often run across these little dougie squirrels in areas with lots of people. It always feels a little special to see them.
Last night, we went on my biggest excursion since surgery (aside from regular appointments at the hospital). We met some friends at a nearby beach.
We’re entering my favorite time of year to go to the beach here, and not just because of the weird ducks. Summer in the PNW is ideal. It only gets really hot for a couple of weeks and the rest of the time, it’s sunny and breezy and beautiful. This is great, but it means there are swarms of people everywhere, which is annoying in normal times. In pandemic times, it makes it harder to go anywhere if you’re trying to avoid people (which is basically what I’m doing at all times). But once it starts getting a bit gloomier? Fewer people go out, which means you can often find a quiet place to yourself without having to travel too far.
Yesterday was a perfect, spooky, October day. The fog that we woke up to never went away, instead settling in for the day, and the closer we got to the water, the foggier it got. /though we weren’t there long, I was surprised at how much of a mood booster it was. First and best, we got to catch up with some friends we hadn’t seen since before surgery. As we stood in the fog, chatting about what we’d been up to, we had our eyes on the water. Though we couldn’t see very far out, every now and then we would see a sea lion swim by. There were several of them, gliding through the water, their giant heads breaking above before slipping back under. Though we’ve seen sea lions there before, I’ve never seen that many hang around for that long. It felt like a gift.
Plus, we even saw one seal snoot. Can’t really ask for more than that.