Ermahgerd, a merganser!
The last couple of days, I’ve started to feel much more like myself. I think I’m entering the sweet spot between surgery and the rest of treatment, where I’m gaining back some energy and motivation to do the things I enjoy, and I should have some time before the effects of radiation and chemo start to rob me of that again.
Thankfully, this is coinciding with the arrival of FALL in the PNW. Fall has always been my favorite time of year, even though I really struggle through the winter months with the lack of sunlight. I love when the leaves start to turn, and when you go outside in the morning and there’s a slight crisp tinge to the air. I love crunching through the fallen leaves on the sidewalk and watching spoopy movies to prepare for Halloween. I love bundling up in a sweater with the window cracked open, and snuggling down in a blanket nest on the couch with a good book. I’m hoping this feeling lasts even once I start to feel crummy from the rest of the treatment. More importantly, I’m hoping that I’m feeling mostly OK by the time Weird Duck Time arrives, which is my absolute favorite thing about living in the PNW.
Yesterday, I had a follow up with my surgeon, who said that everything is progressing as it should. She also complimented Joe and I on our handling of this whole situation, and I don’t even care if she says that to everyone, we really needed to hear it. Because there have been times that I’ve not felt like I was handling the situation all that well (like, oh, the last time I saw this doctor, when she told me I needed to keep the trach in and I started crying because I wanted to wash my hair). I suppose there isn’t really a right way to handle all of this, other than just doing what the doctors tell you, which is what we’ve been doing. Still, I can’t help but think this would all be easier if they gave you a medal or trophy or, hell, at least stickers at different points of treatment.
Today I had a hearing test, which is not something I thought I’d need before starting chemo and radiation, but apparently the type of chemo I’m receiving can cause some hearing loss (cancer is really the gift that keeps on giving). The test today was to get a baseline on my hearing and then they’ll do another one after everything is over to make sure nothing was damaged. Luckily, my hearing today was completely normal. They did NOT give me a sticker, though.
Tomorrow, I have an appointment with a specialty dentist where they’ll take molds of my mouth so they can make fluoride trays that I’ll use during the rest of treatment. Apparently, shooting radiation directly at your mouth can mess up your teeth (see above re: cancer gifts) so this is supposed to help.
THEN I have another appointment with the radiation oncologist, where they’ll do a simulation of the radiation procedure so they can create my specific plan, along with a mask I’ll have to wear to keep my head in place while they blast it with radiation. From what I’ve read, the radiation procedure itself doesn’t hurt, and doesn’t last long, but can be pretty uncomfortable, especially if you’re at all claustrophobic (which, guess what…I am). Others have suggested meditating or asking them to play music to play music to pass the time, or, closing your eyes and trying to visualize yourself in your own particular happy place. This is what I’m going to try so I guess Weird Duck Time will be coming early, at least for me.
