Food Fatigue, Part Two: I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie.
At my last appointment, the doctor pulled up my chart and pointed out the significant downturn my weight has taken since my surgery last year. Part of me wanted to reply, “well, duh,” but the good student in me couldn’t help but feel I was getting in trouble even though she was very nice about it. The medical staff understand what a clusterfuck eating is right now (in addition to the physical and mental issues I’ll likely have with it forever, I’ve been randomly getting stomach cramps and terrible heartburn after some meals, which has made me less-than-enthused to eat anything), but their suggestions aren’t always helpful. Since I started eating again, some of their advice has included:
Eat smaller meals! (I do this already, if I break them down any smaller, I’d literally be eating all the time.)
Add more cream to things! (Barf.)
Add more mayonnaise to things! (Double barf.)
Put avocado in your smoothies. (Please, like I didn’t start doing that immediately.)
Try new/different foods every few weeks! (YOU try new foods every few weeks.)
Have you tried blending [X]? (I’m so tired.)
Anyway, she told me to stop losing weight.
Part of the problem is that, like, you learn to eat as a baby and then you don’t really think about the act of eating much. You think about what you WANT to eat, but not how to do it. I would just think, “Oh, it’s time for breakfast, let’s have eggs this morning,” and then I’d eat it and not be hungry anymore YAY.
Now it’s more like, “Oh. It’s time for breakfast. I guess I’ll start with a smoothie. Then I could try oatmeal again but it didn’t go great last time. I don’t feel like making eggs, sometimes they’re too hard to eat in the morning. Maybe I’ll have them for dinner. (Spoiler alert, I won’t, because I’ll be too lazy to make or try to eat them.) UUUUUGH OK, just eat something. Anything. Or you’ll die. Fine. You’re so mean.”
So, yeah. Basically, eating has gone from, “Yay, time to eat!” to “OK, time to not die I guess,” but I do understand that I need to eat well and stop losing weight or it could lead to other problems down the line. Which is why I need your help! I’m so tired of looking for new recipes to eat and new things to try and so I thought I’d throw it out there to others (especially those of you who are better at cooking than I am or have any experience with this) and see if anyone else had some ideas. Here are some stipulations:
If you find something on any website for people with dysphagia (swallowing difficulties) or who are on a pureed diet, I promise I’ve already seen it.
Similarly to above, please do not send me any smoothie or soup recipes you found on the internet because if it’s Google-able, I’ve seen it.
Examples of things I can typically eat fairly easily: yogurt, smoothies, mashed potatoes, soft scrambled eggs, guacamole, applesauce, soups of all kinds as long as I can blend/puree them, pureed or soft veggies. For things like mashed potatoes or scrambled eggs, I have to mix in something to moisten them, like sour cream.
Things I absolutely cannot eat: anything too dry, anything crunchy, anything spicy (cries forever), bread or cake-y type things (cries again).
Things that are weirdly hard to eat even though it seems like it should be easy: oatmeal, soft fruit, soft-cooked veggies unless I, again, add something to moisten them.
Food must be:
A pureed consistency or soft/mushy enough that I can mash it into submission.
Kind of grossly moist (sorry) so my dry-ass mouth can consume it (thanks, radiation).
Not too acidic or spicy (cries again).
OH YEAH vegetarian (eggs and dairy are OK).
Easy. Eating is already hard enough, if it requires too much effort to make it, I probably just won’t.
BONUS: if it’s something that might be available pre-made somewhere, that is also helpful, because then I can buy it and try it without putting forth any effort, and if it doesn’t work, no big deal.
So you can see why I’m having trouble finding things that sound appetizing. There are so many rules. What I wouldn’t give to bite into a crunchy-ass taco right now.
If you’ve read the above and might have any suggestions, I would be eternally grateful. I need out of the box thinking! What can I do with tofu that isn’t a stir fry or turning it into mousse/pudding/soups? What meals might I be able to mash or blend together until it’s consumable?
I am rebelling against my very nature in order to ask for this help. Usually, even when I’ve asked for advice, my response to receiving it is always, “DON’T TELL ME MY BUSINESS,” or “OF COURSE I’VE TRIED THAT, DO YOU THINK I’M AN IDIOT?” but I’ll try really hard to hold it in this time. Or, more realistically, I’ll try to at least not say it out loud.
ANYWAY THANK YOU.